12 questions to ask yourself before voting in November

Category: Joke Board

Post 1 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Monday, 12-Jul-2004 7:45:40

I copied these questions from an article in my local newspaper. I never take politics too seriously.

With less than four months until the presidential election, here are some questions that might help you decide who to vote for:

1. The golf course is packed when you arrive at the links to play a round. The starter offers you a chance to join one of two foursomes. Would you choose
Bush’s or Kerry’s?

2. Your job requires you to leave town on business for two weeks. Which candidate would you trust more to watch your dog?

3. You and your police partner are poised on the porch of a crack house, guns drawn, and about to enter. You announce: ‘‘I’m going in. Cover me." Would
you prefer Bush or Kerry at your side?

4. Your daughter/sister/mother (pick one who is age-appropriate) is about to start dating again after a bad marriage and an ugly divorce. Whom do you want
showing up at the door with a bouquet?

5. Fate has decreed that tomorrow you will be flattened by a runaway beer truck. You must choose Kerry or Bush to finish the business of parenting your
children. Which one?

6. Assume that George W. Bush and John Kerry are administrators of a pair of private nursing homes. Not only beholden to their patients, they are obligated
to their investors, too. Compelled to place your mother in one of the homes, whom do you want balancing profits against patient care?

7. You’re going for the big prize on Who Wants To Be a Millionaire. Will it be Bush or Kerry you want for ‘‘phone a friend"?

8. A friend has offered you a week free at a beachfront rental as long as you don’t mind sharing the place with one of the two candidates. Which will it
be?

9. Lost in the woods in a January blizzard, you have only one hope for deliverance: Ranger Bush or Ranger Kerry. Take your pick.

10. Imagine yourself the first lady, about to descend from the White House living quarters to an important state dinner in the East Room. Catching sight
of yourself in the mirror, you feel driven to ask, ‘‘Does this dress make me look fat?" Whose answer would you most trust?

11. From your deathbed, you bid your kin to summon a priest that you might make your last confession. Will it be Father Bush or Father Kerry?

12. You and your spouse have tried without success to have a child. Advised that a sperm bank might hold the only promise of conception, you must select
between donors Bush and Kerry.

Post 2 by Damia (I'm oppinionated deal with it.) on Thursday, 27-Mar-2008 4:18:31

I think I'd have chosen karry now, but i wonder peoples answers with the new candadates... I think it would be amusing having clinton going in to a crack house... Anyone want to write a movie? I'm done with the old posts now. really